Post by BUDGIE on Jun 27, 2006 15:04:58 GMT
I recently posted this on another site as a follow on to a conversation we had been having about our plans for the opening day of the river season.Andrew and Frank saw it and asked me to post it here as they though you lads might enjoy it to! I hasten to add that this is a true story and even the names havnt been changed to protect the innocent!
Well it’s been that long since the start of the new river season I thought I best start a new thread about my first trip of the season....er the original ones now being well old!
Well the looked forward "day" on the Medway got off to a flying start when my brief rang last night saying that if I wanted (remember he’s dead keen on fishing to! :thumbs: ) instead of a 09.00 meeting at his office he could pop down and have a chat with me on the river :clap:
I arrived just before 6 and the river looked great! Set up in a swim that I’ve fished many times over the years. Lovely trot down with the pin and a balsa float, nice "comfortable" depth of 8'. Really nice.3rd trot down the float dipped and I was into my first river fish of the season, a half decent roach of around 10ozs.After that it was more or less a fish a chuck. Just holding back slightly and alternating between a small hand full of hemp or maggots each cast. As usual the real attraction for me of this part of the Medway is that you don’t know what you’re going to catch next! Never anything much over the pound but a great variety of species. Even the dog was behaving...........
Ah I forgot to mention that I had to take the Mutt with me
For those of you who have never had the "pleasure" of my faithful hound trying to at first eat you then once you’ve made "friends" trying to drown you in drool I had best introduce him) Mr Cosworth (known as Cos/Cossie for short and not as many of you who no me may think F......g Dog! ) is a three year old Bull Mastiff (er despite the £800 I paid for him possibly with a bit of Alsatian in him too :angry: ) size of a small donkey and about as stubborn as one to! As far as intelligence he has awards from Crufts ....."Most stupid in show" get the picture. He is also (despite his extremely fierce looks and loud bark) the most "bottle less" dog I’ve ever trained! Left alone in the house he will whine and fret like a baby. Therefore unless Mrs Budgie can "dog sit" he accompanies me every where. Today though was a big day for him, it was his first ever fishing trip.
Until around 9 I had the whole river to myself, Cos happily laying down in the shade next to me. Only strange event was the first couple of fish I landed he insisted on licking! is this normal? He didn’t seem interested in the maggots. Just after 9 Capt Pugwash came past on his cruiser, not a problem you’ve got to expect it this time of year, doesn’t seem to bother the fishing..................only problem was that instead of his crew being Master Bates or Seamen Staines the entire ships compliment was one rather large (over weight and fluffy) retriever.” Good Morning" Copt P called "caught much?" nothing to original there but I exchanged pleasantries along with the standard "had a few, nice weather for it" The Fluff monster wasn’t anywhere near as sociable! One look at Cos and it started snarling and barking. Now Cos always being up for a bit (er until he actually has to do anything that is) was up and at em! My dogs bark is deafening but worse was to come.........up and at em all right straight into the river and off in hot pursuit of his antagonist! Don’t know who was more surprised me, Capt P or the fat fluffy dog! :boat: Best part of 50m Cos swam after the boat before finally giving up and returning to me. After shaking himself dry and drowning me he sat down as though nothing had happened. Amazingly enough it hadn’t put the swim down.
Just gone 10 the first of the walker/dog walkers started coming past. I’m not daft wasn’t going to take any risks. On the lead and attached to the railings behind me, sorted. Most dog walkers would pause and exchange hellos with me whilst their dog sniffed my dogs and vice versa's arses (why do they do that I wouldn’t want to sniff a stranger's arse?) The normal "doesn’t it hurt them?" "do you eat them" " my dad caught a pike from the beach at Yarmouth" came my way more than normal. It seemed that every sub normal dog owner in Maidstone was out this morning and me having Mr Cosworth with me gave them some strange "licence" to talk to me! Never mind the fishing was great, sheer poetry trotting that float down stream. Come dinner time the kids were out and about, little kids Cos loves but teenagers demand a quick growl or two erm especially if wearing baseball caps. Some were a bit wary of passing him so (please excuse me but at this stage of the story all the horror is starting to come back to me) it was then that I had my "brain wave :idea: " I took the lead off the railings and wound it short around the bank stick supporting my bait tray.....................................fine at first as I was able to put a reassuring hand on his collar when anyone he "didn’t like the look off" came pass and more reassuring for passers by of a more nervous disposition. The fishing was tops!
Up till now I had caught in excess of 50 fish which included roach, dace, chub, skimmers, gudgeon, perch and ruffe nothing much over the pound and the majority being around the 8ozs mark. Great fun a welcome return to flowing water.
12.25 a rather attractive lady with an extremely short mini skirt and rather large (and well displayed I hasten to add) cleavage came along.( must confess at this point I was tempted to revise my stance on the sniffing of strangers arses issue) Straight up to Mr C no by your leave or "is it ok to stroke him?" straight in there with the "Ooooos a luvly doggy woggy then" "oooooohs a good boy" not that Mr C minded he loves attention from people who aren’t frightened of him, dont ever bark at them! As the young lady was bending down towards me I was being treated to a right eyeful and didn’t mind either!
"So hang on a minute" I can here you all saying "If the weather was so nice, the fishing so good, the "scenery" so enthralling, why are you back in the house at 13.30?" Well now we eventually come to the bad bit. I was so engrossed in the "conversation" I was having with the young ladies cleavage I hadn’t noticed Cos manoeuvring to get into "strike" position...faster than a Dace bite he had his nose up the birds skirt and all was on display! and I mean all not even a G string! I swear It was winking at me! Enough to put you off Donner Kebabs for life! There mucky them Maidstone birds! She was backing away rapidly trying to hide her embarrassment but the dog had been shown the rabbit (er so to speak, it was definitely a rabbit as there was no hair!) and there was no stopping him. In his eagerness to see/smell/taste even more of his new found friend he dragged the bank stick out of the ground sending my maggots into the
! Not impressed....although the sight of a 10stone Bull Mastiff with a bait tray attached to his coller, with his head up a birds front bottom was strangely amusing. Fortunately she thought it was hilarious!
Well with no bait left, an extremely aroused dog and one extremely embarrassed owner it was time to call a some what premature end to the seasons first river session. I’m sat here now relating my combined tale of both success (as an angler) and complete failure (as a "responsible" dog owner) whilst Mr Cosworth lays in the hall snoring, farting, twitching and no doubt dreaming of fat fluffy dogs, the smells of the river bank and the taste of fish er in several senses :yucky:
Well it’s been that long since the start of the new river season I thought I best start a new thread about my first trip of the season....er the original ones now being well old!
Well the looked forward "day" on the Medway got off to a flying start when my brief rang last night saying that if I wanted (remember he’s dead keen on fishing to! :thumbs: ) instead of a 09.00 meeting at his office he could pop down and have a chat with me on the river :clap: I arrived just before 6 and the river looked great! Set up in a swim that I’ve fished many times over the years. Lovely trot down with the pin and a balsa float, nice "comfortable" depth of 8'. Really nice.3rd trot down the float dipped and I was into my first river fish of the season, a half decent roach of around 10ozs.After that it was more or less a fish a chuck. Just holding back slightly and alternating between a small hand full of hemp or maggots each cast. As usual the real attraction for me of this part of the Medway is that you don’t know what you’re going to catch next! Never anything much over the pound but a great variety of species. Even the dog was behaving...........
Ah I forgot to mention that I had to take the Mutt with me
For those of you who have never had the "pleasure" of my faithful hound trying to at first eat you then once you’ve made "friends" trying to drown you in drool I had best introduce him) Mr Cosworth (known as Cos/Cossie for short and not as many of you who no me may think F......g Dog! ) is a three year old Bull Mastiff (er despite the £800 I paid for him possibly with a bit of Alsatian in him too :angry: ) size of a small donkey and about as stubborn as one to! As far as intelligence he has awards from Crufts ....."Most stupid in show" get the picture. He is also (despite his extremely fierce looks and loud bark) the most "bottle less" dog I’ve ever trained! Left alone in the house he will whine and fret like a baby. Therefore unless Mrs Budgie can "dog sit" he accompanies me every where. Today though was a big day for him, it was his first ever fishing trip.Until around 9 I had the whole river to myself, Cos happily laying down in the shade next to me. Only strange event was the first couple of fish I landed he insisted on licking! is this normal? He didn’t seem interested in the maggots. Just after 9 Capt Pugwash came past on his cruiser, not a problem you’ve got to expect it this time of year, doesn’t seem to bother the fishing..................only problem was that instead of his crew being Master Bates or Seamen Staines the entire ships compliment was one rather large (over weight and fluffy) retriever.” Good Morning" Copt P called "caught much?" nothing to original there but I exchanged pleasantries along with the standard "had a few, nice weather for it" The Fluff monster wasn’t anywhere near as sociable! One look at Cos and it started snarling and barking. Now Cos always being up for a bit (er until he actually has to do anything that is) was up and at em! My dogs bark is deafening but worse was to come.........up and at em all right straight into the river and off in hot pursuit of his antagonist! Don’t know who was more surprised me, Capt P or the fat fluffy dog! :boat: Best part of 50m Cos swam after the boat before finally giving up and returning to me. After shaking himself dry and drowning me he sat down as though nothing had happened. Amazingly enough it hadn’t put the swim down.
Just gone 10 the first of the walker/dog walkers started coming past. I’m not daft wasn’t going to take any risks. On the lead and attached to the railings behind me, sorted. Most dog walkers would pause and exchange hellos with me whilst their dog sniffed my dogs and vice versa's arses (why do they do that I wouldn’t want to sniff a stranger's arse?) The normal "doesn’t it hurt them?" "do you eat them" " my dad caught a pike from the beach at Yarmouth" came my way more than normal. It seemed that every sub normal dog owner in Maidstone was out this morning and me having Mr Cosworth with me gave them some strange "licence" to talk to me! Never mind the fishing was great, sheer poetry trotting that float down stream. Come dinner time the kids were out and about, little kids Cos loves but teenagers demand a quick growl or two erm especially if wearing baseball caps. Some were a bit wary of passing him so (please excuse me but at this stage of the story all the horror is starting to come back to me) it was then that I had my "brain wave :idea: " I took the lead off the railings and wound it short around the bank stick supporting my bait tray.....................................fine at first as I was able to put a reassuring hand on his collar when anyone he "didn’t like the look off" came pass and more reassuring for passers by of a more nervous disposition. The fishing was tops!
Up till now I had caught in excess of 50 fish which included roach, dace, chub, skimmers, gudgeon, perch and ruffe nothing much over the pound and the majority being around the 8ozs mark. Great fun a welcome return to flowing water.
12.25 a rather attractive lady with an extremely short mini skirt and rather large (and well displayed I hasten to add) cleavage came along.( must confess at this point I was tempted to revise my stance on the sniffing of strangers arses issue) Straight up to Mr C no by your leave or "is it ok to stroke him?" straight in there with the "Ooooos a luvly doggy woggy then" "oooooohs a good boy" not that Mr C minded he loves attention from people who aren’t frightened of him, dont ever bark at them! As the young lady was bending down towards me I was being treated to a right eyeful and didn’t mind either!
"So hang on a minute" I can here you all saying "If the weather was so nice, the fishing so good, the "scenery" so enthralling, why are you back in the house at 13.30?" Well now we eventually come to the bad bit. I was so engrossed in the "conversation" I was having with the young ladies cleavage I hadn’t noticed Cos manoeuvring to get into "strike" position...faster than a Dace bite he had his nose up the birds skirt and all was on display! and I mean all not even a G string! I swear It was winking at me! Enough to put you off Donner Kebabs for life! There mucky them Maidstone birds! She was backing away rapidly trying to hide her embarrassment but the dog had been shown the rabbit (er so to speak, it was definitely a rabbit as there was no hair!) and there was no stopping him. In his eagerness to see/smell/taste even more of his new found friend he dragged the bank stick out of the ground sending my maggots into the
! Not impressed....although the sight of a 10stone Bull Mastiff with a bait tray attached to his coller, with his head up a birds front bottom was strangely amusing. Fortunately she thought it was hilarious!Well with no bait left, an extremely aroused dog and one extremely embarrassed owner it was time to call a some what premature end to the seasons first river session. I’m sat here now relating my combined tale of both success (as an angler) and complete failure (as a "responsible" dog owner) whilst Mr Cosworth lays in the hall snoring, farting, twitching and no doubt dreaming of fat fluffy dogs, the smells of the river bank and the taste of fish er in several senses :yucky:
